


No happy endings

by EnochianLullabies



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And all of that yep, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), but not a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:06:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnochianLullabies/pseuds/EnochianLullabies
Summary: It was the wedding day. All was going according to the plan. For Tony and Pepper at least, Steve just wanted it to end as soon as possible, go back to his home and make the day go away.





	1. The wedding day

A lot of phrases, a lot of words, no one to the right person, no one at the right time.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” That’s what the priest said. Tony looked so handsome, the suit done just for him, obviously, but it wasn't only tailored for him no, it was more like… Created for him, like no one ever had worn a suit before him, and at the eyes of Steve no one should form now on.

“Yes” That word made his ears buzz. He smiled. Everyone was smiling. The preacher kept talking like he was supposed to do. He kept smiling, like he was supposed to do.

Moments later everyone applauded, he too. A kiss, another one, and everyone cheered. Steve too, of course. A hand took him by the arm and escorted him out of the church and into a car, he couldn't tell who had done it, nor the face of anyone attending the ceremony.

He stopped smiling. Almost crying he fastened his seatbelt, it didn’t work, he just couldn't make it click, it was too much for him, he felt his eyes watering and his heart beating faster and faster. Natasha hugged him. “Thanks”, he said “I’m sorry, I’m being an awful companion”.

Natasha smiled at him and didn’t say anything for a moment, Steve looked at her “We both knew this was going to be difficult” she excused him.

“But I’m a grown ass adult, I shouldn’t be crying for a wedding” hesniffed.

The car stopped, neither of them opened the door.

“It’s only a night, whenever you want to go, we go, okay, Steve?” Steve nodded, but both knew it wasn’t only a night.

Tony had married Pepper, and that, in Steve’s book was forever. Could he have done something?

Of course.

Just one word, a couple of them to Tony and it all would have changed.

He remembered when he told Natasha “I think I’m in love”, Natasha have laughed and answered “I think everyone knows you’re in love, except for Tony of course”, Steve had gotten so red he thought he was going to explode “How do you know is Tony?” Natasha shrugged.

If only he had said that to Tony and not only to Natasha.

They went into the hotel’s reception, a lot of flashes shot at them on the short way from the car to the front door. Steve started smiling again, even posed with Natasha for a couple of photos.

Inside Natasha was the first dropping the smile, Steve saw the reason for it in front of them, Clint was holding his wife’s waist.

Oh, it wasn’t a good day for no one. Well, it was, just not for them.

They ate a little, and talked a lot. Rhodey talked a lot to them really, Steve only stepping in when it was about work. For all he knew Natasha was the only one that knew why Steve was “out of it” as someone has said to him moments ago.

But Steve was wrong, almost everyone knew why Steve wasn’t eating like he usually did, nor drinking, much less talking.

Everyone remembered how they used to laugh together, a little too close, a little too soft, so intimate it almost looked like they were telling each other a love poem.

Oh, they knew Tony also loved Steve. How he cherished every good moment with him, how he always remembered the little puns that had made Steve laugh with him. He was going to ask Steve out once, Rhodey knew.

Natasha also knew, but she wasn’t telling that to Steve now.

The dancing started.

“May I have this dance?” said Natasha and Steve took her hand. They started dancing, in a little space near a corner of the room.

The groom and the bride had already had their waltz. Steve had excused himself and cried in the bathroom for as long as the song was sounding next door. He had to get a hold of himself. For the moment he hadn’t talked to Tony for the whole night, and he’d thought if it kept going like that he wouldn’t cry. Of course it was all a nasty lie, and he was horribly wrong, as he had already proved.

“I caught the bouquet” said Natasha, and Steve looked at her with surprise. “Yeah, I don’t see myself marrying soon either”

The new song started ‘Can't Help Falling in Love’, just what they needed.

“And why did you caught it then?”

“I don’t know. Reflexes, I think” Natasha shrugged and smiled a little, Steve did to. “Are you okay?”

Steve looked at Tony, who was happily looking a Pepper, and felt as bad for not being him the one with Tony as for think about it. “No”.

“Neither am I”, said Natasha looking at Clint dancing with Laura. She was already over it. She had her chance and she lost it. Clint always says it was the other way around, that Natasha will always be his lost arrow. He says it when he is drunk and not near Laura, he didn’t want any problems with his very loved wife.

“I think we can’t go now, we have already done our penance, haven’t we?”

Natasha nodded, they were ready to go get their jackets when a hand touched Steve’s shoulder.

Oh, did he knew who it was. If it was a comprehensible response Steve would have run towards the exit like it was fire touching him. He didn’t.

“Steve! Are you leaving already?”

“Hey, Tony, congratulations. And yes, Natasha was feeling tired so we are going.”

“Such a gentleman”, Tony laughed and gave a couple of claps in Steve’s shoulder, “but Natasha is a grown woman you can stay a little more if you want”.

“I…” Steve couldn’t answer for a second. Pepper was far away talking to her friends and family, Steve could say the truth and be on his way, but he didn’t want to make Tony sad.

Or even worse, realice it didn't mattered to Tony.

“We’re going to have sex”, said Natasha. And Steve opened his eyes so much they could have rolled out of their sockets on they own if they'd wanted.

“What?” Tony looked as surprised as Steve. And a little angry. “Why didn’t you tell me you were toge… Ooh, it’s a thing of the moment, yes?” he winked.

“Yes” said Natasha.

“No” said Steve at the same time. And he moved away from Tony who haven’t let go of his shoulder during the conversation. “I want to go, Tony. I want to go.”

Silence.

“Me too” said Natasha pointing her thumb at Laura and Clint kissing.

“I couldn’t not invite Laura.”

“I know; I know” whispered in a reassuring tone Natasha. ‘Just as much as you couldn’t invite your wife’ she though.

Silence.

“So we are going. Bye Tony, congratulations again.” Stave started walking before Tony could say anything. Natasha was following him. When he went through the front door he smiled, sighting relieved, Natasha next to him, laughing. It was raining like ever.

“That was awesome”

“It wasn’t the best phrase; I didn’t have time for rehearsal.”

“Oh, but his face when you turned away. Speechless. Tony was speechless watching you go.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I broke his heart”

They laughed and went down the stairs, a cab already waiting for them. The front door opened again. Natasha was already sitting.

“Steve, wait!”. That was it. Tony was in the front steeps. It all was going to be a show if Steve went into the cab now. He could already read the news: `Captain America, in love with Virginia Potts? Jealous of Iron Man?´.

“Steve...” Natasha was shaking her head.

“I have to.” Steve closed the door and waved goodbye at her tapping the cab roof.

He turned around and Tony was already there, getting just as wet as him under the heavy rain, a flash or maybe a lighting made everything shine for a moment.

Tony hadn’t had much time to think, not only about what to say to Steve at that moment, but about Steve in general. The war, the death, the loss. Steve wasn’t there with him. He wasn’t there when he came back, why would he? Pepper was, Pepper loved him, and he loved Pepper.

He didn’t feel the same way for Steve and Pepper, that much was true. But that wasn’t bad. It wasn’t like he loved Pepper any less. It was just different. Different in a good way. Yes, he still felt something for Steve, but so did a lot of people for a whole lot of other people, and they still marry and have children. And all of that. Why wouldn’t him? Steve had had time to say something about the wedding if he’d wanted to.

But now Steve was looking at him. And the rain was wetting his own tailored suit, he hadn’t realized it was raining. He didn’t like the suit. He hadn’t like a lot of things about the wedding, they say you only have to like the bride, instead he had liked Steve smile, it had only lasted a moment, the real one, when he had looked at him while waiting for Pepper in the altar.

“Tony, what are you doing?” Tony shrugged, not knowing how to answer that question, he wasn’t even sure where he was. “Your wife is there, alone, go back inside”.

“But, Steve, why are you going, did you fight with- “

“Don’t make a fool out of yourself.”

“Steve.”

“Stop saying my name like is some kind of answer, and tell me why don’t you let me go.”

“I…” Steve waited. “I don’t know.”

“Then, I have to go.” Steve called another cab, he opened the door. “We’ll see each other when you’re back from your honeymoon, good by- “

“I don’t want to” he caught Steve by the arm, the jacket not giving and some stitches breaking. Steve went back up. A photo was taken.

“What?”

“The reason why I’m not letting you go is that I don’t want to.”

Tony didn’t release his grip. Steve didn’t say anything for a moment. He was so happy to hear that. So angry. So sad. All at the same time.

“They’re taking photos.”

“Let them.”

“It’s your wedding day, Tony. In fact, it’s your wedding night, Pepper is going to start looking for you.”

“Follow me.” Tony started walking down the street “Please”, he added turning back. Steve sighted, and followed him.

“That won’t stop them” Steve warned, flashes still popping.

“Do you really thing that’s the thing that’s bothering me the most now?”

They walked for a little more, turned left a couple of times. They weren’t far away, but the paparazzi didn't follow them. At least not that they could see.

In that little park, all around full of trees, almost looking like a forest, with the rain pouring in the leaves making a precious kind of white noise, and the moon trying to shine through all of it, they almost could forget and forgive. Almost.

“What else do you want from me, Tony?”

“The truth.”

“`The truth´? And it’s me they call `rightful bastard´? Give me a fucking break, Tony.”

“Steve, why were you leaving my wedding?”

“You know damn right why. And it wasn’t `your wedding´ it was already the party.”

“Why.”

“I have had enough, Tony.” Tony didn’t respond. “I don’t like parties, that’s all, I just want to get to my house and sleep like the old man I am. Are you happy? That’s the truth.”

“That’s not half of it, Steve, and you know it.” Tony wasn’t calm anymore, he wasn’t shouting like Steve was either, but bit by bit, he was getting there.

Oh, it was going to be a fucking show.

Steve didn’t care anymore.

“You want the truth, Tony?”

“Yes.”

“It’s because I love you. I fucking love you! Okay?” He had said it, he had shout it, he was shouting, oh God, it felt so good. He wanted to do it again.

But he couldn’t. Tony took him from the lapels. He used all of his strength to lower Steve.

And he kissed him.

It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t ‘just a brush’.

It was the most passionate kiss Steve had ever have. Tony was kissing him like he had waited all his life, and Steve was kissing back just like that. Somethings are meant to be, like the song says.

“Tony”

“I couldn’t help it.”

“Go.”

“What?”

“You are married, Tony.”

“But I love you.”

“Shut up. Don’t say that” Steve backed away a little.

“Steve, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- “

“You’re right. You shouldn’t. Go back to your bright bride. This didn’t happen. You didn’t kiss me. You didn’t say you love me.”

“I do” Steve closed his eyes. And Tony didn't bite his tongue. “I’m sorry, Steve, but I do.”

“Then why didn’t you say it back then! Before this!” he gesticulated at everything. “Oh good Lord, Tony. I love you too, don’t you understand? You’re breaking me.”

“I couldn’t say anything. You wouldn’t let me. You were as closed as a safe.”

“And what have changed?”

“I… I just couldn’t bear with this being over”

“There is no ‘this’, Tony” he whispered, and walked towards him again. “We lost it, because we are a couple of idiots.”

Tony smiled “We are a couple of idiots, that much I know.”

Steve smiled back. And hugged Tony who looked up, and Steve couldn’t stop himself before kissing him. It was a kiss goodbye.

Goodbye forever.

But he couldn’t stop smiling. And crying.

Tony used his thumb to dry some of it away, but he was crying too.

 “St- “

“Please, don’t say you love me.”

“One last time.”

“One last time.”

“Steve, I love you” it sounded so different from the other one. It sounded real, soft and heartbroken. Steve hated it.

“I love you too” it was just like Tony has imagined, not so much time away it was Steve the one he saw himself marrying. Damn, he could still see it. It broke his heart.

They had broken their souls with I-love-yous that stung like bees and weight like boats, and yet they were sinking.

“Tony?” The voice came from not so far away.

“Go, go, go” Steve pushed Tony.

“Steve I…”

“Just fucking go Tony!”

“I don’t know what to say to her.”

“You’re a fantastic liar, Tony, you’ll make something up. Just go!”

Tony went. Steve stood there. It was still raining. A lot. He could hear the storm; he could see it too. It was beautiful, and Steve was greateful for it just because it made him not hear what Tony and Pepper were saying. He was sure Tony had told her he needed a break, they'd had kissed and they both were going back to the party.

He sat down and checked the phone.

“I’m home. Where at you?” it was Natasha.

He wrote: “At a park. Going home now.”

“At a park?” she answered at the moment.

“He said he loves me”

“I’m going to kill that bastard”

Steve smiled. He walked to the street and took a cab. The cab driver recognized him and asked if the party was too much for him. He smiled and didn’t say another word for the whole ride. When he arrived home no one was waiting for him.

It was better like that.


	2. The day after the wedding day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! This changed a little from what I had in mind when I started writing it. And instead of a two parts angst you have now a 3 or 4 parts angst and fluff, with a side of smut (that is a lot more smut of what I had in mind, it being 0 when I started working in the fic)  
> Hope you like it!

Tony had a good night sleep. The place was the most awesome complex in the world. He could live there forever and ever.

Oh, and Pepper. She was looking so beautiful, so carefree, she had loved the complex, the sea and the buffet, she could even forget about the company for a night.

Tony opened an eye. Just in time to see an IPad falling to the floor. A foot crushing it.

Pepper was crying.

“Pepper?” She turned. Her eyes closed as strongly as her fists. She moved her foot, trying to break another hole in the tablet and cutting herself on the process.

“You absolutely fucking- “

“What did I do? Are you okay Pepper?” Tony jumped out of the bed trying to get to Pepper.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” she moved back limping. She caught a vase threatening Tony while shaking her head “Don’t you fucking dare touching me! Why did you had to lie to me?”

“I don’t understand Pepper, honey.” He did understand. Oh God, he was starting to understand what was happening.

“Why did you had to look into my eyes and tell me that was over?”

“Because it was.”

“It doesn’t look like it!” she threw a newspaper at his face. “Do you even care about anything apart from you, Tony Stark?”

“I thought- “

“Shut up!” Pepper threw the vase against the wall. “You kissed him on our wedding day! You didn’t think about me? About the company?” she shouted, and without letting Tony answer she continued “You didn’t even think about him.” All said and done Pepper stormed out of the bedroom.  The door resonating all around. 

Tony followed Pepper, naked and stepping in the glass from the broken vase. It wasn’t the only thing she had broken; Like a hurricane was passing through the stance. It looked directly out of a Carrie Underwood video.

He got to the front door.

“Pepper!”

Pepper wasn’t there, how did she had the time to break everything and then go in the few seconds of shock that had made Tony stay still? It was crazy.

Oh, and now the cleaning lady and an old man were seeing his penis. He said his apologies and went back into the complex.

He had fucked up so much. He was some kind of professional in that matter.

Taking the newspaper that had slapped him he saw the wedding had made the front page, just like he thought it would. It was yesterday’s newspaper, maybe Pepper had taken it from the buffet. That explained the weird looks and giggles they had gotten at the pool. It also explained that girl slapping him, he had thought she was an ex-lover.

The front page read “Stark’s Weeding Kiss” it wasn’t a photo of Pepper and him.

He tried calling. She didn’t answer. He tried calling again, and again.

Ten minutes later the receptionist was saying to him that _miss_ Pots had left, and that she had left something for him.

It was the ring.

Of course it was the ring.

Back in New York Steve didn’t want to go out of his house just to face the journalists waiting for him on his front door.

They had fucked up so bad.

He had seen the newspaper; he had seen all of them. The things they were calling him, it was almost funny, society hadn’t gotten any more creative with slurs than back at his times.

He got out of bed and into the shower, the water not washing away any of his worries, how was Tony? And, most important, how was Pepper? Had they found out the news (they were the news) or was the paradise they had gone to so remote they had escaped for now?

Steve had thought of sending Tony a message and tell him that… well, that everything had gone to hell. Like Natasha had told him yesterday when she had found out. But he hadn’t, because they were going to find out anyway and Steve didn’t want to be the one telling all the bad news, apart from being one of the reasons for the bad news.

When he stepped out of the shower he noticed something different. “Natasha?” No one answered, but he knew someone was in his house. He didn’t have time for that.

He armed himself with a deodorant spray and started his tour all around his own apartment. It was quick, trying to hide in his balcony was a reporter.

“Really?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Rogers. I really need the exclusive.”

“You had to be kidding me, boy. Get out of my house.”

“Yes sir.”

It was surrealist, he’ll have to move if it kept going like that.

Moments later someone was knocking in the door. And Steve was done. Readjusting the towel around his hip he was ready to shout and kick at whoever was at his door.

It was Clint. With pizza. And coke. And a dog.

“What are you doing here, Clint?”

“Tasha told me you needed a shoulder to cry on. And I’m kind of the new psychologist of the group. Also she is in some mission and couldn’t come. This is Lucky, say hey Lucky, you aren’t allergic to dogs, are you?”  Steve didn’t have time to answer “Anyway I haven’t read a single newspaper, and I have Netflix so no TV either. What happened?”

“Well, it’s kind of- “

“Just kidding. About not knowing, the rest it’s true. Tasha told me everything. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. You don’t have to stay Clint; Laura needs you more.”

“Yeah… That’s not true. You have just become the next all American slut.”

“Thanks Clint, kind of unnecessary.”

“That’s what they are calling you today. I’m sorry, again. That’s why I have brought everything for a good stay at home day. So you don’t have to face reality today.” Clint moved his head, readjusting the aid in his ear. “There is someone climbing the wall?”

“How do you… It doesn’t matter, they started doing it this morning.”

Clint let the pizza in the kitchen with everything else he had brought and, in a single movement, unfolded his bow.

“Clint!”

“They have to learn! Why isn’t the police doing anything?”

“The least I need is the police coming to my house, I’m still…, kind of in the radar.”

Clint opened the door to the balcony and pointed his bow “Hey, you, assholes! It’s me, you may not remember me but you won’t forget me if you try climbing again, what the fuck do you think you are, snakes?” Clint shot an arrow that landed perfectly in the lens of a camera recording him, it didn’t break it.  It was an “ink arrow” freshly out of the oven, it wasn’t perfect and has thrown ink all over everybody near it, not that he cared.

Clint thought the message was sent and received, so he went back inside.

Steve was sitting in the sofa tipping in his phone. He had received a message from Tony “We fucked up”, Steve thought about what to answer, finally he had sent: “We? I’m not married.”  Moments later Tony answered: “Well, I’m not going to be married for much longer”.

Steve didn’t know how to answer, and was tipping and erasing over and over. Clint sat next to him.

“I’m sorry” Steve wrote.

“Are you?” that was Clint, and not Steve conscience, thanks to God.

“Of course I am” he answered, but he also erased the message.

“Then why don’t you send it?”

“It was him who kissed me. And who started saying all that things.”

“That he loves you?” Steve nodded “Yeah, Natasha told me. You aren’t married.”

“No.”

“So you shouldn’t feel bad for kissing him back.”

“But I know Pepper, she is a wonderful person and I…”

“I’m sure she isn’t blaming you…, a lot”

Actually, Pepper was blaming him. And Tony. But mostly herself for not seeing it coming. Well, she had, but she played blind. It was written all over Tony’s face every single time he saw Steve. She had talked with Tony about it, and Tony had lied, the only thing she wasn’t sure about was if Tony was lying to her or to himself.

She had left the hotel and hadn’t answered to any of Tony’s calls or messages. But she knew the best for the company was to “make up” with Tony, and be the forgiving saint, give to the press a couple that was stronger than ever and that had overcome the bump in the road.

She didn’t want to.

Tony didn’t want to either. He didn’t pack. He left the hotel as it was, promising he’d pay for everything, and was going back to New York in a private plane. They had told him Pepper had done the same thing. She wasn’t going to answer. And now it seemed like Steve was going to do the same.

“Steve?” he wrote. “You aren’t to blame, I’m so sorry” he wrote. He hadn’t think anything different for a single second. Of course he was the only one to blame. Why had he done it. He was scared it was his only chance to kiss Steve, and it probably was, but why didn’t he think of the consequences.

They all thought Tony was and egoist that couldn’t get his head out of his ass. That was the last straw. They were going to fed him to the crows.

And he was sure he had earned every part of it.

“Sir, the press asks for a conference tomorrow.”

“Tell them I’m not coming back till next Monday.”

“But you are coming back right now.”

“Yes. But they don’t know, Friday.”

“They’ll know.”

“It’ll kept them at bay for a little.”

“Good. Should we land in another place, then?”

“Yes, let’s tray Barton’s farm.”

“Yes, sir. Should we tell Clint?”

“Let it be a surprise.”

They were the only ones surprised. When they landed Tony was shocked for not seeing Laura or anyone coming to see what was happening. For a moment he thought maybe they were hiding. Or pointing at them with some kind of riffle from the rooftop. But after a couple of minutes he went and knocked in every door and window he could see. No one was at home. Well, maybe it was for the best?  They could be at a family vacation.

He sent a message to Clint: “I’m taking your van from the farm. Sorry. A new one will come soon enough.” Clint didn’t answer in time for him not to “make his way” into the van. He was weirdly proud of being able to rob any type of car.

It was a long way from there to New York. And he couldn’t even go to his house. “Stark, what are you doing in my farm?” That was Clint answering, and not being concerned with the important part of the message, that was Tony taking his van. “And why are you robbing my van?” Oh, there it was.

“I needed it to get to NY, a private plane was too obvious”

“Yeah, and where are you going to stay? Your house is rounded by journalists.”

“A wonderful friend of mine is going to let me stay at his house.”

“Rhodey?”

“You”.

“Me?? Why me??” Clint couldn’t believe what he was reading. He had just send Steve to his little apartment in Brooklyn. He was staying at Cap house to make it look as if the two of them were there. Steve had left through the roof, jumping to another one while he shot a couple of ink arrows from the balcony to distract everyone. Kate was waiting for Steve at the other roof to guide him to the apartment.

“Rhodey is far away. I think he doesn’t know yet” I hope, Tony thought. “So, where do you live when you aren’t in the farm? Your family adores me Clint, don’t worry”

“My family isn’t there. Just” Clint went back inside and closed the window, at least he wasn’t staying with the two of them in the apartment. He sent the direction. Tony replied with an emoji sending a kiss. Clint sent one puking.

When Tony knocked on the door he didn’t expect a girl opening it. He had expected Clint. Who was the person living there after all. “Who are you?” He asked.

“Me? This is my house. Who are you?”

“Your house, I’m sorry I think- “

“Tony?”

“Steve?”

“Yeah, he’s here too, come in. I’m Kate” Of course Kate knew Tony, he was Iron Man after all, but she was mad at him for doing wrong to Pepper.

“Hi, I’m- “

“I know” Kate closed the door “Okay, so here is where Clint and I live. Not on the record of course, but yeah. Okay so. Follow me. You’re lucky, we have two bedrooms. And I’m leaving, so you don’t have to fight over the bed.” They nodded. “Unless you want to, of course. Not jugging.” She looked at Tony “Well, I’m judging you, but because you are bad.”

“Thanks” said Tony.

“Kate, we’d talked about thi.s”

‘Had talked’ how long has Steve been there?

“Still, I don’t like him.”

“’Him’ is here” said Tony. Kate shrugged. She showed them everything, and they decided (caps or tails) who was sleeping where. Tony had Kate’s room, it was very very purple, but not as purple as Clint’s that didn’t surprise him. At all.

After that Kate left them. She gave a warm hug to Steve and a quick goodbye that sounded like a threat to Tony.

When the door closed everything was so absurdly awkward Tony thought he was going to explode.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you have said that a lot today.”

“Yeah…”

“Did it had any effect?”

“No.”

“Then why would it be any different now?” Steve turned away, moving to the open kitchen and opening the fridge, putting the door between himself and Tony.

“What? I haven’t done anything to you!”

“Oh, then why were you saying sorry?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Steve closed the door and threw a newspaper at him. That was the second flying to his face in the same day, a new record. “Why won’t people stop doing this” he whispered.

“’Slut’. That’s the sweetest thing they are calling me. They think I took you to that park and tried to ‘steal you from Virginia Pots’.”

“That’s fuck up.”

“Yes, Tony, that’s what I though. I’m just starting to recover my reputation, just enough so policemen don’t stop me every fucking second while I’m trying to do my job. And now I can’t even do my job because paparazzi are c _limbing_ into my house!”

“They are doing what?” Steve didn’t answer. “Look, Steve, I’m very sorry. I…”. His tone changed drastically “You kissed me too!”

“I wasn’t married!” Steve was holding a milk cartoon, and Tony could see it all over the walls already “It wasn’t my wedding day, Tony” he said enunciating every word.

“I’m sorry. Okay, Steve, I’m fucking sorry. I just was scared of losing you.”

“You had already. You chose Pepper. I wasn’t mad for it. But I am mad now Tony. ‘I haven’t done anything to you’” he mocked. “Fuck me, Tony.”

Steve put the milk in the fridge again. And he walked to his room.

He was wearing nothing but grey pants. And Tony haven’t realized till now. The realization was really scary for him, normally that would be the first thing he’d have noticed. It all was really affecting him. He opened the fridge and took some leftover pizza. Just one piece. After that he went to ‘his room’. He took his phone. Sitting in the bed. He wanted to talk to someone. He needed it. But he couldn’t bother Rhodey he had too much in his plate already.

He texted Clint. After a few ‘hi’s Tony dropped the bomb “The two people I love more than everything in this word, and they both hate me”

“You love them even more than yourself?”

“God, Clint, I could love a rock more than I love myself”

Clint didn’t answer for a few minutes.

“Look. This looks bad. But let’s be real, it’s going to get better”

“It’d surprise me if it went worse.”

“Well, they could form an alliance to kill you”

“Actually, that wouldn’t surprise me.”

“Goodnight, Stark. You need the rest.”

“And you too.”

“I’m doing a marathon with Kate, not sleeping for me.”

“Hey, and what about that? Who tf is Kate?”

Clint didn’t answer, Kate sent and audio “Nothing of your business, but, I’m the better Hawkeye.” After it Clint say goodbye again and Tony did the same. That was a case for another day.

He went into the bed. And it all fell over him. Just. Everything. The whole day. Weighting like the moon had landed in his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

It didn’t get any better. But after a couple of hours of crying he stopped, too exhausted to kept crying, the pillow wet, his t-shirt too. His eyes swallowed and reddened. He wasn’t looking his best. He turned, facing the wall and in fetal position he closed his eyes.

And just then his door opened.

“I’ve been hearing you.”

Oh, that was just fantastic. Spectacular. Just what he needed. Tony didn’t say anything. He thought maybe if he didn’t move Steve would think he was sleeping. But he was vibrating like he was about to collapse, what was possible.

“Tony, can I come in?” Tony didn’t answer. “Okay” Steve sighted regretful. He hadn’t turned around yet when Tony said he could come in. Steve sat at the bed, and it made a nasty noise. “I was too hard on you. I didn’t think about what you are going through. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry, Tony.”

Tony turned and Steve looked at him, directly in the eyes, he didn’t look away after seeing him all red and still weeping, even if it hurt him like a knife to the heart. Steve showed him his hand, as if Tony was some kind of scared cat. Then he touched his hair, caressing his face after it.

“I kissed you too. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry” said Tony, his voice crushing. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither” said Steve, still caressing him.

“Clint was having a marathon do you think we could too?”

“Run? You want to- “

“A movie marathon, you super soldier” Tony smiled. Steve did too, he liked making Tony think he didn’t understand certain things so he could see him smile, it was worth it every single time.

“Okay. Do you think Clint has any movies around here?” he said already moving his head looking for them in the room.

 _‘Die hard’_ all of them, they were the only movies they had found in Clint’s apartment. Tony wasn’t disappointed. And Steve haven’t seen them. They were just the right kind of films to watch that night.

They sat at the sofa, it wasn’t a fancy one, not bigger enough for the two of them to lie. A blanket over their shoulders, and Steve had found a bag of popcorn, so they put that to good use too, they were ready for the marathon.

They finished the first film together. But Tony felt asleep just as it finished, Steve had seen him fighting through the last minutes to kept himself awake.

Steve wanted to watch the next one. But Tony was resting on him, and if he moved he could wake him up. He looked peaceful, and needed to rest. Steve would make the sacrifice and try to sleep too.

It wasn’t hard. Well, it was easier than other times. He starting caressing Tony’s hair, and tried to think about the movie and nothing else and after half an hour or something like that he finally fell asleep.

The next morning, they could see why Clint haven’t changed his sofa. It was small yes, and they had slept all over each other, Tony could swear he slept on the floor for part of the night, Steve kept telling him that it didn’t happen. But, still, they woke up as if they had sleep in king size beds. Tony’s neck and Steve shoulder were hurting a little, but nothing compared to what it should be like after two adults tried to sleep together in a three places sofa.

Tony was still resting on the couch, the TV on. But he was searching for a series in Netflix, not ‘real TV’, as they had called it, allowed. And Steve was making something for breakfast, nothing fancy, Clint didn’t have the ingredients for it, just French toast.

While eating breakfast Tony realized once again how fucked he was. But he couldn’t keep his eyes out of Steve, it was like seeing the moon for the first time. He was so scared of closing his eyes and losing him.

Because he wasn’t about to lie to himself, it was going to end sooner or later, and it was going to be a hell of a torture when the time arrived.

But for now he ate, and told Steve how much of a good cooker he was, Steve laughed and said it wasn’t like he had really cooked anything. Tony smiled and didn’t say anything else.

“We should find a way of going to the supermarket.”

“Maybe Clint could bring us something.”

“Yeah, I don’t think Clint even knows where the supermarket is, the eggs weren’t exactly fresh.”

Tony looked at the last French toast he had in his plate. “A little late to be saying that, don’t you think, Cap?”

Steve laughed again, it just kept undoing Tony every single time, if Steve had said ‘jump’ at that time, Tony wouldn’t have time to stand up before jumping as high as humanly possible. Maybe even inhuman.

After it both sat at the couch, Tony sat first and Steve sat as far as possible, Tony looked suspicious at him. They were putting barriers between them now? Why?

“Did I do something?”

“No, I thought… Well, maybe you didn’t want to…”

“To?”

“To have your personal space invaded?”

“What are you talking about, Steve? I think you may have picked another language when you were away because I don’t understand a single thing.”

“Not need for being sarcastic, Tony.”

“Do you know who I am? Being sarcastic is a need for me. Like breathing. Almost.”

Steve sighted and shrugged a little trying to come up with the words he wanted to say to him.

“Look. I just thought maybe, after all that happened, that is still happening, we should… limit our physical contact?”

“And you thought that while we were sleeping together?”

“Yes.”

“And don’t you see the problem with that train of thinking?” he shouted in a whisper. He didn’t want to fight. But he was getting angry. Why was Steve trying to put a distance between them just now?”

“You needed it last night. But now it’s better if we are apart. It’s not good when we get together.”

“What?” Tony just couldn’t believe it. “I needed it? What the fuck are you? A robot?”

“Tony I’m just trying to say- “

“No, you made your fucking speech back then. It’s my turn. You may have let your fucking heart frozen back in the ice, Cap. But I still feel. And, even if everyone tries to convince myself it’s only me I think about, that’s absolutely not true. I think of you every single day. I have done it since before I met you. I hated you. I idolized you. I fucking wacked it thinking about you. And that was before meeting you!” Tony paused, Steve was looking at him, his mouth shut, but he was blushing. “You just didn’t open up to me, never. I tried. God knows I tried to get to you. But you just think so badly of me you can forgive me for anything. I’m sorry I married but I love Pepper. I’m sorry I can’t live up to the image you have of my father, I’m my own man, you see? I have done things too!”

“Tony, I don’t think- “

“And I’m sorry for loving you. But you should be too. For being such a coward. Captain America, so scared of himself, so scared of a friendship, of a relationship. You know I’m scared too. But I don’t sit all the other way on a couch so we ‘don’t touch’, what are we fucking teens? We aren’t going to dry jump each other, Steve.” Tony breathed and closed his eyes. Getting up he finished “Over. Good day, Cap. If you want to talk to me, please restrain for doing it.”

“Tony. Don’t go.”

“I’m going.”

“You can’t just say all of it and then go to your bedroom. Or Kate’s bedroom or whatever.” He got up.

“Then stop me, Steve. I’m so tired of having to do everything to get a part of your time.”

“That’s not true” Steve took his arm. Tony, still turned away from Steve, smiled. “You don’t have to fight for my time. It’s always yours. I could have flown the whole world if you had only called.” Tony turned, facing him. “I thought of stopping the wedding, you know? Only thing stopping me was that Pepper as the bride.”

“Only thing?” Tony couldn’t resist going soft when Steve was looking so apologetic and directly into his eyes.

“Only one.”

“Had it been Thor?”

“I may have stopped myself then too. Couldn’t say how much I love you if I’m crushed to death.”

“You what?”

“What?” Steve played dumb even if he knew perfectly what Tony was asking for “Oh… That. I said it back in the park.” He kissed Tony check, Tony turned to try to get more. “I still think this isn’t a good idea, Tony. You’re still married.”

“Not for much time.”

“You keep saying that, but still” Tony stepped closer to him, making their bodies press against each other. Steve coughed. “As much as I want…”

“You want?”

“You know I want.”

“Good, I want too” his voice an octave lower. And he reached for a kiss, Steve didn’t move away. But he didn’t respond either. “Okay. Okay” Tony tried to go away “You’re still holding me, Steve. If you aren’t going to fuck me, at least let me go away dramatically, I have a little bit of an ego and I would love it if you would let that live, at least.”

Steve didn’t let go “I hate you so much.” He said kissing Tony back, this time both responding to it. Steve let go of Tony arm.

“Finally” he murmured in Steve’s lips and threw his arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

“I hate how you make me loss all control.”

“You aren’t the first one to fall for it.”

“But I’m sure I was the one the fell the graceless.”

“That bit could be true.”

“A bat of your eyelashes and I would be at my knees, Tony.”

“I would love to see it” Tony said kissing him again, his tongue finally passing through Steve’s lips.

“You can” Steve said, and moved them towards the nearest wall. And Tony let him. Oh, he wouldn’t stop him if his life depended on it. “You want?”

“What kind of- “Tony stopped himself, because it was taking too long with the sarcasm, and Steve was offering a blowjob to him. It was really happening. In Clint’s living room yes, but... He was taking too long to answer. Steve was starting to look less ready and more dubious. “Yes, yes, yes, of course.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack there for a moment” he said kissing him again in the chin, and then the neck.

“I have my demons” Tony answered with a thin line of voice. He was melting against that wall. The whole word already forgotten. It was just him and Steve, finally.

And Steve, oh, Steve wanted to draw gasps and pleas from Tony’s lips, he had never wanted to have a dick in his mouth as much as at that moment. He pushed Tony’s t-shirt up and Tony helped him throwing it at the floor as if it was burning him.

Steve let a try of kisses all over Tony’s torso, admiring the hard build that he rarely was cocky about. Getting rid of Tony’s pans and underwear at the same time Tony’s cock jutted up from his trimmed groin. And, oh God, he hadn’t thought about it but of course Tony trimmed. He released a moan, the saliva almost building up in his mouth at the sole thought of testing Tony, of having him in his mouth and making him come like he had thought of doing too many times.

His own cock was painfully tight in his pants, he stroked himself through his pants at the same time he wrapped Tony’s cock. Tony moaned and Steve almost came, the sound so painfully sweet, he started stocking it and Tony was all but melting in his grip. Whimpering, moaning, even grunting at the bare touch. It wasn’t just anyone doing it, it was Steve, Steve in his knees for him, touching him, caressing him, and just now kissing his thighs.

Tony took Steve by his t-shirt and upped him, kissing his neck, biting it, taking of his t-shirt, not as gracefully as he had thought he’d do it, and kissing his mouth, then pushing him back in his knees, all in less than a minute.

Steve was so hard it started to make him feel nauseous, and his skin was all but on fire.

“Fuck!” Tony said, his toes curling up and almost losing balance, trying to grip at the wall and falling when Steve’s mouth _finally_ rounded him. He quickly saw where he could grip, and he was very sorry for Steve’s hair, but if he didn’t hold onto something he was sure he was going to end falling down. It was better than anything he had imagined, and he had imagined a lot. He opened his eyes, almost losing it at the sight of himself sliding in and out of Steve’s mouth. His head knocked back, the wall not hard enough for Tony to even feel it.

His ears full of the sounds Steve was doing around his cock while he pumped it too, caressing his tight at times, going too deep for his own throat at others. He licked, nipped and sucked.

Tony’s grip was getting stronger and stronger, and Steve seemed to like it, smiling at Tony from time to time, he was going to undo him. He couldn’t say his own name had his life depended on it.

“Steve… I” his own words sounded like another mouth was saying them. To slow, another octave completely, and he wouldn’t recall even saying them “I’m not going to last”

“It’s okay” Steve smiled, and doubled his efforts, caressing his balls, pressing his tongue against his slit, going as deep as he could.

“Oh, fuck, Steve” he whispered and all his muscles tightened as he cummed. And, fuck, Steve was swallowing, a strangle cry escaped Tony, and he couldn’t move for a couple of minutes.

Steve went back up, pressing against him, Tony caressed his bottom lip with his thumb and then kissed him, testing himself in Steve’s mouth and regaining slowly the ability to talk “That was… amazing” he said, kissing him again, slowly turning him so Steve was the one resting against the wall.

“I hope” he said, Tony could fell his erection pressing against his lower stomach.

“You are hurting, yes?” he said, well knowing the answer, while he moved up and down to get some friction to Steve’s cock. He nodded “I could give you back the favor” he said, slowly getting down, licking Steve’s abs “or” he teased, coming back up “you could fuck me”. Steve’s eyes almost run out of his sockets. His mouth opening and his fists closing. “And well?” Tony said, biting at his neck.

“I prefer the later” he said, and as educated and petulant he tried it to sound, it only came out as a growl, as an animal finally getting his prey.

And they were moving to Clint’s bedroom. A quick though crossed Steve’s mind, one about Clint not licking them fucking in his bedroom, but he didn’t need to find out, and honestly Steve didn’t care. They were kicking all the walls in their way to the room. Kissing, almost devouring each other at every stop in the way, at some point Tony kicked Steve out of his pants, kissing his tights and liking just once his cock. Going back up without another single touch. Steve was going to kill him. He loved him so much.

And he was so hard.

Oh, god, he was so hard he didn’t even realized they were already in the bedroom till he saw the bed. He pushed Tony onto it. Admiring his body against the bed as if it was a work of art, it was at his eyes, and Steve was ready to pin him to the wall, or in this case the bed, as he deserved.

But for now he’d conform with touching every part of Tony body.

“Steve?” Tony said getting up in his forearms himself “are you-?” he didn’t had time to say anything else, him getting up had been an offense to Steve, and he was ready to fix that. One leg at each side of Tony’s body, he lowered himself, pining Tony’s arms with one hand over his head, and started nipping at his neck. “Fuck” Tony whimpered and Steve felt as if his body might combust at any moment.

He prayed to find Clint’s lube (he had to have something) or he would find another way to prepare Tony.

“It’s in the side table” Tony said “don’t ask, Clint told me” Steve laughed and Tony did too. He tried to reach the side table without moving and it went horrible wrong, almost losing balance, Tony caught him “Next time I’d let you fall”

“Yeah?” Steve said lowering himself, and making Tony moan, he was now between Tony legs, and he wasn’t going to take long to put Tony’s legs up in his shoulders.

“Yeah” he mocked, “and then I’ll fuck you on the floor.”

“I’d love to see that.”

“Oh, you will love it alright” Tony said rounding Steve with his legs and thrusting against him, “but first things first” he said, Steve almost falling against him.

He lifted Tony’s hips, fixing a pillow under him, and spread his knees, making Tony moan out of anticipation and the loss of his legs around Steve. He forced his body to relax as Steve put his legs on his shoulders. Pouring lube all over himself and spreading Tony cheeks, he started to circle him, every second the most delicious torture. He kept preparing Tony for what felt like hours. “Steve if you don’t start pounding me I’m going to lost my mind.”

“We don’t want that now, do we?” Steve said smirking, and Tony took fistfuls of the sheets as Steve pushed inside him. It felt so good, it was even better that how he remembered it, and it was Steve inside of him.

Steve who had to stop himself, and remind himself that after all he was still a super soldier and had enough strength to tear Tony apart. But, God, it was so hard not to pump him till he was spent. He buried himself to the hilt and then he began to pull out.

Tony opened his mouth, then closed it, biting his already swallowed lips that were all but begging to be kissed again, to be ravished. And Steve was so happy to obligate. He kissed him as hard as he was fucking him, each thrust harder than the last. Their skin glistened with sweat. Tony took one hand off of the sheets and Steve took it, lacing their fingers.

Steve’s thrusts lost their rhythm, his breath coming out heavy. “Touch yourself for me, baby” Steve said.

“Baby?” Tony replied, smiling.

“Just roll with it” Steve smiled back, biting at his neck.

They were all over each other, kissing, and nipping, and Steve couldn’t hold it any longer, he cummed inside Tony, who cried as he came seconds later, biting his lip.

Steve kissed him as he pulled out, resting Tony’s legs in the bed and falling next to him.

“Fuck, Steve” Tony whispered. Steve couldn’t say anything, he took Tony’s hand and kissed it.

“Fuck.”


	3. The last day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, this was a ride! I hope you liked it and I appreciate every single kudo, bookmark and comment. This was my first time writting such a long work in English, so I'm sorry for the more than possible errors.  
> Thanks for your support and, well, that's it!  
> XOXO

They were going to die. They were dying. Actually, they were already dead and deep into Hell. That was all Tony could think about.  
“Say to them I love them. It’s an honor to die at your side.”

“I can’t hear you, Tony.”

“I said” he coughed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Can you move a little? I think your arm is crushing me.”

“I hope I could move my arm.”

“You can, you just don’t want to.” Tony moved his arm and Steve realized it wasn’t even touching him, because he still could feel like the whole Earth was sitting in his chest. 

“Why did we have to get ill? It’s some kind of karma?”

“It’s some bacteria I think.” 

They had the flu, it was horrible, and they didn’t feel good at all, but at least the fever wasn’t terrible high for now. They talked to Clint and someone was going to bring them some medicine. Tony didn’t believe a word, and had called his private doctor, he was sure he had some tropical illness and now Steve was going to die of it too. It was a huge drama in his head.

They spent the rest of the morning whimpering in the bed. At midday Steve started feeling good, or, at least, better, and he got up only to find out it was just the calm before the storm, before he knew it he was sitting at the sofa, talking to the TV, and it wasn’t even turned on. When someone knocked at the door his first instinct was to take a cushion as a shield and approach the door ready to fight. Just before he opened the door Tony appeared behind him flaunting a lamp as his weapon. Steve jumped scared and Tony started to laugh, he laughed till his throat started to hurt more than ever.

“Can someone please open the door? It’s damn late.” 

They both played dead. As still as they could, waiting for some indication of who was behind the door, and then Steve realized no him nor Tony had asked who was behind the door. 

“We are armed. And we aren’t scared. Who are you?”

“Steve” the anonymous voice behind the door said. “Are you two high? Open the door I have not time for games, or whatever this is.”

Tony recognized the angry voice, he had heard it way angrier than then. Still, he was as scared now as last time he had heard her.

“Pepper?” he asked. 

“Yes. Who else was going to help your sorry ill ass?” She said. And Tony approached the door, Steve took him by the arm, stopping him.

“Who else is with you” he asked. His throat starting to hurt from all the talking.

“Tony’s doctor” she didn’t get an answer. Tony and Steve were talking between them, and she was getting angrier by the second, her patience had a limit, and she was well over it. “Open the damn door!” she yelled. 

“I think they are delirious because of the fever.”

“No shit, Sherlock” she murmured. And knocked again at the door. Tony opened it, his eyes all watery because of the fever and looking like a beaten puppy, but he was still shielding Steve behind him, as if he was the strongest one and not the other way around. Pepper remembered why she had fell in love with him “Hi, Tony”. She looked pass him, Steve was trying to stay still and look the less ill possible, he was trying to smile, but Pepper could see he was hurting all over. “Hi, Steve” Steve said hi in return and then coughed. “We are coming in” she said, and Tony let them.

After half an hour of examining both of them, the doctor sat them at the couch and started telling them about the very common flu they had gotten, and the very high fever they were suffering. 

They had to take a lot of drugs, about what Tony was a little too excited, but they wouldn’t die, not of flu at least. 

So they had to rest, take the pills, no talking (Tony was still arguing about that), and in a week or so they would feel all good and ready to save the world again. If they were still doing that after all that happened. But that wasn’t the doctor’s concern. After saying all he had to say, he packed his things and said his goodbyes. 

Pepper stayed. “So, I have another thing to tell you, Tony” Tony braced himself, Pepper saw it “Okay, we have to give a press conference, about… us. About the three of us. But I think is better if Steve doesn’t come.”

“Can you let the medicine do its thing, and then we’ll talk?”

“No. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, Tony” Tony understood it.

“I think Steve should come too, the things they are calling him…”

“They can use it, him being there, as another weapon, do you want that to happen?” 

“Still, Steve- "

“Steve is right here” he said. “Can I decide if I want to give a press conference or not?”

“Steve, honey” Tony said, and Pepper almost felt to her knees ‘it’s because the fever’, she told herself, and she was partially right, Tony wouldn’t have said that with Pepper there if he could think totally straight. 

“When you are…, involved, with Tony Stark, you don’t get to decide what you want to do. Not even Tony can do that. What it’s better for the company it’s what should be done. And now more than ever. We are supporting thousands of families that lost one or more of his members after… We founded an orphanage, and a hundred others solidarity projects. All of them depend on us” Pepper said, seeing as Tony had lost himself at Steve’s eyes, and wasn’t going to end his phrase. 

Was that the first time Tony had say ‘honey’ to Steve? A part of Pepper hoped it was, another part didn’t care anymore. 

It hit Steve like a truck. He didn’t have a word anymore, the same as Pepper couldn’t just say to Tony ‘Our lawyers will talk about this’ and be on her way. The same as Tony couldn’t say ‘Fuck it, we are together, so what?’. And were they together? Or was their relationship just slowly dying, every hour they passed together just another reminded of how it all was going to drive them straight towards a concrete wall without a happy ending? 

“Okay” he said, but he added: “Still, I’d want to go, I just want them to have all the sides of the story.”

“We aren’t going to tell them the story. We would tell them it was all a misunderstanding. Tony and I are very happily married. The photo was a montage; we didn’t say anything before because we were in our honeymoon and didn’t thing a rumor so stupid would cause this kind of scandal.”

“But-" Steve started to say.

“After that we go to our respective homes. And we put on a show for a couple of months, maybe a year.” Tony looked at her like he was about to scream her to stop, but he didn’t. “I don’t like it either, it isn’t fair for me having to be the one keeping you apart, being cheated on the day of my wedding, looking at you two sitting together and having to be the ‘bad bitch’, they are going to call me that, that’s keeping you apart.” 

“You are nothing even near of that” Tony said. “And I’m sorry.”

“Stop” she said. “After that year or so, we fill up the papers for divorce, you wait a couple of weeks, or a month, and you can give another press conference saying that Steve was your shoulder to cry on, and that feeling started appearing. I give a little interview, saying I’m happy for both of you, and that Tony and I weren’t meant to last forever, and I’m okay with all of it happening.” 

“A year and a month?” said Steve, “A year and a month living a lie?” Pepper looked at him as if she was going to kill him, but Steve wasn’t afraid “Are you sure you want to live that life?”

“We don’t have other way” said Pepper shrugging.

Steve looked at Tony, and he didn’t say a word “Are you two mad?” he yelled getting up, and almost falling down out of exhaustion. “I’m not doing it! You two… I can’t live that lie.”

“Then you can’t be with me” Tony said, looking at him. “The company is very important right now, Steve. It’s the one thing keeping families for falling apart, we have to take the blame for what we did.”

“I- I’m not talking about not taking the blame. But we can’t just… I waited too long, Tony, and you too. And Pepper doesn’t deserve it either! We fight to make this word a better one, and we have been beaten, hated on, yelled at, never gave a damn about it all, but I’m not going to take a year of lies and burden for the world that doesn’t care about us.” 

They all fall in silence. Steve went to his bedroom.

“He is right” Tony said.

“I know. But that doesn’t mean the world doesn’t need the sacrifice.” 

“I know”, Tony said, and Pepper waited. “Can I think about it?”

“You have till Friday, as you said.”

“That’s tomorrow”, Pepper nodded, and Tony did the same closing his eyes, he continued. “Okay. Thanks for everything Pepper.”

“Giving you what you needed was always my job. I only had hoped you would return the favor.”

“Pepper-" 

“Don’t. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I have to go now, what’s left of the Company needs running, even if it all is going to be closed by next Saturday.”

“I haven’t chosen yet” he said accompanying Pepper to the door.

“Oh, but you have” she said putting on her coat. “You know; no bride thinks her wedding kiss is going to be one of her lasts.” Tony lowered his head. “Goodbye, Tony.”

“Goodbye, Pepper” they didn’t even shake hands. Tony closed the door and sat at the couch, he knew Steve was angry and he e didn’t want to fight, so he was ready to pass the afternoon in that sofa, he would talk to him at dinner time, when both had had time to think and the medicine had kicked in. At least he hoped so.

He woke up way pass dinner time, he could hear Steve sleeping, and he thought that maybe Steve had fallen asleep without dinner (what was better than thinking Steve ate right there without even telling him ‘Hi’), so he stood up and went to the kitchen, nothing looked like it had been used, and it was an open kitchen, so he would have, at least, smelled Steve cooking. 

He opened the fridge and looked for something to make dinner, so he could offer it to Steve as some kind of apologize, he hadn’t had time to think about what to do or say, but he knew they had to talk. 

He was trying to cook some sausages when he heard the door. Someone was trying to open it. As silently as he could he went towards the door. 

“Bro, open it.”

It’s all he heard, but they weren’t talking to him, he heard an electric saw and moved away. Ran to the kitchen and caught the first knife he saw, it wasn’t impressive at all, just a table knife, but he knew how to use it.

Two guys, one really big and the other slim as they come burst the door open and went into the apartment as if they were ready to fight and die. That Tony could do. 

The big one saw him and pointed, Tony crouched and ducked a knife the slim one threw at him. 

“Bro! He isn’t the bird one!” he said. Tony jumped the counter and throw himself at the slim man they both knocked the floor, the bad guy first, and Tony knew he had broken the guy’s arm, then the big one took him of the floor as he weighted nothing and throw him at the couch “Bro! This is Iron Man, what the fuck!” 

“I knooooow!” The other said so enthusiastic Tony thought maybe they would stop throwing him or throwing things at him. He tried to get up “Don’t” they told him at gunpoint. 

Then Steve walked out of the bedroom door, all sleepy, and semi naked, and shivering because of the fever. And Tony knew he couldn’t tell him to wait a year, another one, for him. 

“Yoooo” The slim one said “It’s fucking Captain America” moving the gun to point at Steve.

“Where they fucking?” 

Tony hit him in the knees, and he fell to the floor face first. He stepped on his wrist and took the gun. The big man couldn’t even react and just put his hands up.

“Good morning, Steve” he said and everything started to kick in for Steve, “I think the meds are reacting kind of weird on you.”

“It might be the serum.”

“Yeah” Tony looked at the bad guys, one in front of him, the other just below him “You two, what do you want.”

“You can’t make us talk”.

They tied them to two chairs, one of them a computer chair they found in Kate’s room. They didn’t have to do anything else to them, the slim one started talking.

“The bird one take the building from us. We kill him.”

“Clint?”

“Yeah.”

“Clint isn’t here.”

“No shit” the big said. “If we knew you two here, we come four or five. Not fair fight two versus you.”

Steve laughed a little, felling a little more like himself “You would have lost too” he said, and Tony smiled at him.

Five minutes after, they kicked them out of the building and scared them just enough to make them never try it again. Then they called Clint and told them what had happened. It wasn’t the first time, but the other time around had been a lot scarier, as Clint was telling them, they asked him why he didn’t call. “It was my job and my problem” he said. And that at Steve’s eyes that honored him.

They sat at the same chairs they had used for tying the attackers. Steve inspired till his chest was full and then started talking, not a discourse, just a simple phrase “I’ll do it” Tony looked at him as if he had just walked in the conversation, “what Pepper said, she was right. I can’t be that egoist.”

“But”, the dinner was burning, Tony could smell it, it may be a fire for all he cared, but, still, he stood up and when to the kitchen, turning down the heat and talking again while he went back to Steve.

Going back to Steve, he loved how that sounded.

“’But’, nothing Tony. Is just as Clint said, sometimes you have to make some sacrifice. It’s our job.”

“But what about our lives?”

“But what about the lives of all the people who have loss someone because we couldn’t make it?”

“We lost too.” Peter. His was the first name that always came to his mind while thinking about lost. So young, so brave, and yet… Death doesn’t discriminate.

“We knew we could loss. We knew what we were walking into. They didn’t.”

“That doesn’t make our loss is less important.”

“It makes our sacrifice necessary.” Steve took one of Tony’s hands between his own “Hear me, I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life without even knowing it-"

“The moment you say to me you prefer to wait a year to be with me? If you-"

“No, Tony” he said, as sweet as if he was talking to a child “, the moment I can say to you that we are going to be together. We just have to wait a little longer. Come on, what’s a year when we have waited so much?”

“And all because of our own stubbornness.”

“That I can’t deny, you have always been a little too proud.”

“Me?” Tony said sounding angry, and Steve laughed, Tony hit him lightly in the arm “You, old man...”

“Hey now” he started to say, quickly thinking of a response, but he didn’t say anything. “Will you?” he asked instead.

“Will I what?” Tony asked, bringing himself closer to Steve, it was easy, he was sitting in the office chair, he only had to roll a little closer, effectively making the scene look a lot less serious than it was. 

“Will you wait a year for this old man?” he said, kissing his knuckles. 

“It’s this a wedding proposal? Because I should warn you I have a bad record with being married."

“Oh, you do? Then maybe-” Tony hit him again. “Ouch” he said moving so he was resting his forehead on Tony’s. Cupping his head between his hands “Just a year, Tony, we could still see each other, we’re friends now, remember? No one will think anything of it in a couple of months.”

“I know. Still, -”

“It’s going to be hard. I know. But we owe it to them. And to Pepper.”

“Pepper…” Tony said, lowering his head “how came I’m such and asshole?”

“Sssh” he said moving Tony’s head up and kissing him again. This time with so much more intention. 

It was the start of a bittersweet goodbye. Their fairy tale didn’t last a day. The whole world wanted it to end, needed it to wait for a little. But it was far more easy saying it than doing it. 

Steve caressed Tony’s jaw, he was going to miss the feeling of his stubble, the fantasy of feeling it between his legs would have to wait a little more than planned. 

Tony’s hands were in his shoulders, but not for long, as slowly as he could he made his way down Steve’s torso, and up again, cupping his head just as Steve was doing. He brought their lips together once more, and before kissing him he said: “Just one last time.”

“Till next time” Steve added, tentatively brushing his lips.

“Till next time” Tony said. And it happened so quickly Tony was laughing at the top of his lungs. Steve upped him, Tony’s legs around his waist, and it was an easy (except for the doors) way to the bedroom, where Steve all but throw Tony to the bed. “A little eager, aren’t you?”

“I’ve doing my waiting, Tony.”

“Me too.” Tony said, upping himself in his forearms, just enough to kiss Steve, he took Steve by the nape and brought him down with himself. 

“I have something for you.”

“I hope” Tony smirked moving his hand way down.

“No, not that” answered Steve smiling. 

“Oh. What then?” 

“Tell me is not too corny, please” he said getting up and looking into his bag. Tony was all but going to start jumping of the excitement. “It’s just… A little something… To remind you of myself.” 

“Steve, you-" Tony saw the pendant, for a quick moment he had thought that maybe it was going to be a little charm of the Cap’s shield, it would have been something easy to get and still a really nice and corny present. It was so much worse “Steve…”

“I know. I shouldn’t. I’m an idiot.”

“No, no” he got up and took the pendant “I want you to put it on me, please” he said. It was silver. A little symbol that joined a ‘S’ and an ‘A’. And Tony was about to start crying. 

Steve did, slowly feeling Tony’s neck, kissing it just after, and turning him around to see how it looked. Steve’s eyes watered, he kissed Tony’s Adam’s apple. 

“One day you could wear it.”

“I’m going to wear it every day, for now to forever.” Steve smiled. “Enough of this, it’s rotting my teeth. Let’s get down to business” he said winking, and took Steve by the hem of the t-shirt he had put on so little time before, and backed throwing them both into the bed, crushing himself under Steve. Just as planned. More or less.

They made love, as the poets would have said. Deep kisses and long caresses, little ’goodbye’s all over each other bodies. 

Tony kissed his way down Steve’s body, as if he was dying to touch him. But he didn’t stay there for long “I want to come inside you, Tony”, Tony couldn’t say anything against it. He went back up nipping and biting at Steve neck, leaving a bruise he hoped would stay there the whole year.

It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t been this happy and sad at the same time, ever. Why could Steve make him feel all of that without even trying? 

Steve’s hands couldn’t let go of Tony’s face even when he started pounding into him, slowly, as if they could make the day last longer like that. 

Lots of sweets nothing whispered between moans as their eyes locked together. 

The time passing still too quickly.

The morning came and the sun woke Steve up as always. He lied still and watched Tony slowly waking up “What time is?” 

“Still too soon.”

“Then why are you watching me like a creep?”

“Hey, I have my right to do so, I’m your…” Steve quickly shut up, and Tony suddenly was wide awake, “It’s boyfriend okay with you?”

“Boyfriend?” he could see the fear in Steve’s blue eyes, “it’s more than okay, for now” he said, moving closer to Steve to kiss him. 

“For now, ah?”

“Yeah, for now.” Tony mocked kissing Steve again and getting up. “I have to get ready”, he said not looking at him. 

“Yes, I know.”

“Steve, are you sure you want to-"

“No” Steve cut him, standing next to him, looking out of the window as Tony was doing. “No, no, Tony, I don’t have a clue what I want. Apart from wanting you. I don’t even think it should be done like this anymore. It’s… It’s really hard.”

“I know” Tony said, a hand in Steve’s shoulder.

They couldn’t look at each other for the whole hour Tony was getting ready for the conference and Steve for going back to his home, they knew what would happen if they did. And even if the press may take pity on an adult man crying, Tony was sure they wouldn’t take pity on him. 

Steve was helping him with the tie, hands a little too touchy and shaky, still not a straight look between the two of them, still no goodbyes.

But the time came that Tony had to go out through the door. And Steve didn’t have the guts to let Tony go without kissing him.

And they cried. They cried all the tears they had tried to keep inside. Tony tried to bite his lip to stop it for happening and Steve smiled and looked away, just till he saw Tony’s whole body shaking and gave in too. 

When Tony walked out of the door, Pepper waiting outside, Steve felt as the air was punched out of his lungs. He went back to Clint’s bedroom and took his backpack. He threw it against a wall (would have to pay Clint for it), and he sat at the bed, crying his eyes out, and murmuring a whole lot of thigs that meant nothing. 

Tony was sitting next to Pepper in the limo, and feeling her as far away as ever. Pepper didn’t deserve what was about to come. Steve didn’t either. He was the only one that deserved it. 

They were just at the other side of the press conference room. Pepper was adjusting her tights, and a woman he didn’t know was attending same small details in his suit, was it his wedding suit? He didn’t remember. 

“In we go” said Pepper, inspiring as if she had to take air for a whole room and not only herself. She extended her hand. Tony took it. It was sweaty and cold. His too.

Steve got up and went out of the house, letting his bag behind and a note for Clint saying “Thanks, but sacrifice isn’t the only way, I learned it the hard way.” 

Oh, and Clint didn’t understand a thing when he read it, and what was the hole in his bedroom wall?

The whole room went crazy, questions shouted, and journalist getting up, the members of the staff trying to keep everybody calm and doing an awful job of it.

Pepper was going to start talking, but Tony murmured something to her ear, and she smiled and signaled to him to start talking.

“God knows I have made mistakes” everyone was quiet the moment he started talking. He coughed, the mic made a horrible sound “I’m sorry. As I was saying, I have been wrong a lot of times, but I think, at least I like to think, every time I came up with a good solution” he looked at Pepper “and the times I didn’t, this beautiful, smart, intelligent and dedicated woman, Virginia Pots, helped me came up with one, serving it to me on a silver plate. It’s for that, that I love this woman-” 

Steve opened the door just at that moment. A lot of flashes shouting at the exact moment he stepped inside. His face was a poem, all red and undone, and he had just heard Tony saying he loved Pepper. Tony took the pendant in his hand.

“But” Tony continued as if Steve’s presence hadn’t altered him, and it had, but his discourse didn’t change because of it. “But, as my nanny should say “You can’t choose who you love, cariño” and I love Pepper Pots, but amo a Steve Rogers”, and he hadn’t finished saying it when three of the Hispanic journalist at the room started cheering. 

Pepper had her head low, but she was smiling width, just as she had expected, Tony was still as predictable as always, she would have loved to be with him a little longer, but that totally planned spontaneous part of him would have drove her crazy sooner or later, she liked to thing that.

Steve was still panting; (had he ran all the way? Tony saw him capable of doing so), walking towards the conference table where Pepper and Tony where sitting, and the cameras where indecisive between recording him or Tony.

“And let me tell you one or two extra things. As I have already said, I don’t always have the right answer. But neither of these two people deserve a punishment or having to make a lie out of their lives for my errors. The company it’s very important to Pepper, you know?” he said, as if he was talking to a couple of friends, “And she’s doing a wonderful job out of it, that’s the reason I’m making her the boss of it all, and I know she’ll keep carrying on with all the charity campaigns we are working on right now, for that reason I ask you to make me the center of your complains and not the company nor Pepper” he got up, and took Steve’s hand to help him get in the pallet where the table was. “Another thing, if anyone else calls Steve Rogers, something even similar to a ‘Slut’ or Virginia Pots a ‘Bitch’, you’re going to tell those words to Iron Man’s face, and someone once called me Earth’s Greatest Avenger, I’m only warning you.” He made a pause. No hands up. “Thank you.” He kissed Steve, right in front of everyone. “I’m not going to be answering anymore questions, Pepper?” Pepper smiled and waved them goodbye. She knew that could happen, and she had prepared accordingly. 

Three horrible days went by. They couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t even go near the windows. Fortunately, no one was bothering Pepper. And instead of being America most hated couple they were some kind of America new sweethearts, two Avengers falling in love and fighting for the right to being together after so much pain “how brave”, they said in most of the magazines. 

Then everything started to get a little calmer, with the Holidays coming up there where more things to talk about, still they have received e-mails and letters, even phone calls, from LGBT groups asking for their presence in the parade, and magazines asking for a special “Christmas at the Stark-Roger’s house”, what made them realize they didn’t really have a house. They had been staying at Steve’s apartment, but it was too small for Tony. 

And Tony’s houses were way too big for Steve. 

But no one had even though of going to live separated again. Not after almost having to do it for an entire year.

“So…” Tony started saying, his fingers in Steve hair “I’ve been seeing apartments”

“Not the best time” said Steve, raising his head.

“Shut up, I’m trying to be romantic here.”

“While I give you a blowjob?”

“Not my problem you are so eager in the morning, honey.” Steve bit his tight “Ouch, you know I like that, not a good tactic.”

“Just tell me about the apartment before I change my mind and drop you for some motorist.” 

“A motorist?”

“Hey, I’m one, we could ride together into the sunset.”

“I…”

“I’m joking, you know that, yes?” Steve kissed the same spot he had bit before, and kept kissing, trying to made Tony forget about the apartment, moving together, like, actually moving together scared him a little. 

“Yes. Still, I’m buying a motorcycle” Tony said, Steve laughed and made something that made Tony moan “And” he tried to keep going “, and about the apartment. I’ve been looking around here, In Brooklyn, I know you love this place, and we’ll be near Clint, and it won’t be such a great change for you”

“What about you? And the mo-"

“You were going to say the money?” Tony laughed and Steve went red. “It’ll be a good change living in Brooklyn, I’m tired of living in mansions.”

“You aren’t”

“Of course no, no one ever is. But I’m tired of living without you” Steve smiled, he went back up just to kiss Tony. “God Bless, I though you’ll never do that, thinking you were still frozen after all.”

“Ha, ha” he mocked, lying next to Tony, who moved to rest at his side to look at Steve “how could be frozen under your oh, so sweet, sweet talk” he said, sarcastic. 

Tony moved to the side table, opening a drawer and taking a box out of it. “So, would you come see the apartment with me, Steve?”

Steve didn’t hesitate.

“Yes.”

Tony’s eyes lighted up “You’re going to love it, love.” He opened the box.

“You already bought it?”

“Just because I know you’d love it.”

Steve smiled while shaking his head and took the keys, the key chain was a ring with the same symbol of the pendant he had given Tony days before, the one he hadn’t taken off since he had put it on him. 

“If I love it an infinitesimal part of what I love you, it’ll be perfect”


End file.
